This blog post is all about How I Rebuilt & Elevated My Self-Esteem & Confidence.
Self-esteem is a wildly fluctuating state of emotion. One minute you’re feeling yourself the next, you’re staring at yourself in disappointment. Wondering where you went wrong and why you don’t look like Bella Hadid. Or wondering why your dish doesn’t taste like Gordon Ramsey made it.
Whatever it is, we all struggle with low self-esteem and confidence at one point in our lives. It could be your teenage years, or it could be when you’re in your mid-30s.
The important thing is how you overcome these negative feelings that come with low self-esteem. It requires effort and self-reflection but gaining that confidence back is worth it!
My advice is first to find value within yourself. Know that you are worth being loved and happy worth finding happiness, being healthy, and being respected. Understand that neither your weight nor outward appearance determines your value.
How I Rebuilt My Self-Esteem & Confidence
I used social media as a tool
If you are able to use social media as a tool, it is one thing I highly recommend doing. If it’s toxic and lowers your self-esteem, then delete it! Like Yesterday!! As for me, I started using TikTok as a tool to help me lose weight, get ideas on workouts, healthy meals, how to dress my body type, and how to take care of my skin and hair. I also used it for cleaning hacks and some recipes. After I felt like I knew most of the things, I deleted it because I found no value in it and spent many hours on it.
TikTok can be very repetitive; it’s just different people doing the same thing.
I will caution you, though, and say there is so much misinformation online! There are also many contradictions. For example, people will tell you to oil your hair and leave it on overnight, while another person will tell you to only leave it on for 4-6 hours and never overnight. You’ll have to learn to do things that work for you and don’t take all the information to heart.
Another thing is if you’re using social media to gain insight on workouts and healthy meals, know that you don’t need to go to Whole Foods, Trader Joes, or any of these “boujee” overpriced stores to get foods; you can find cheaper at your local Walmart! (p.s. You can still drink cow milk and eat meat even if every fit influencer suggests against it.)
Other tools you can use are books, blogs, some magazines, or even YouTube Videos can be very helpful and informative.
I became Self-Disciplined
I finally thought if I was going to complain about it yet do nothing, I just needed to shut up. If all I am going to do is be in bed looking at fitness influences online and not attempt to improve myself, I am only causing more harm to myself than anyone else. If I am going to lay in bed and envy people who cook so delicious, yet I am here relying on my frozen pizza roles and hot pockets and not putting an ounce of effort into cooking, then I’m complaining just to complain.
So how does self-discipline tie into this? Well, first off, let’s look at the definition.
Self-discipline is “the ability to control one’s feelings and overcome one’s weaknesses; the ability to pursue what one thinks is right despite temptations to abandon it.”
You first need to ask yourself what you want to change in your life. The second question is, what are you going to do to make the change possible? And the third question is, how are you going to do it?
Self-discipline plays a role in this because once you start feeling unmotivated to continue your change, you need to be able to control the narrative and understand that while you might feel unmotivated, continue doing what you are doing. And that requires self-discipline. A month or two from now, you will be so happy you started!
Self-Improvement
I looked for areas I could improve in, whether that was my cooking, baking, homemaking, workouts, eating habits, the way I carried myself, the way I talked to others, anything and everything, you name it! This helped me become more confident because every time I looked for areas that needed improvement and executed it, it increased my confidence. The closer I got to my “weight goal” the more confident I became. Also, the more consistent I became in eating healthy and working out, the better I felt both inside and outside!
The more I started to improve, the more I valued myself, and the more appreciative I became for being me!
I quit letting negative thoughts live rent-free in my head.
This is easier said than done, but I did it.
Nothing will change, no matter how many positive Pinterest pins you pin to your board, if you don’t change how you handle your negative thoughts. It starts with becoming self-aware because sometimes, our brain repeats the same negative things over and over and we aren’t aware that it’s happening.
I keep thinking to myself, if I were to pass away, how many hours would I have spent living in a negative space? Or how many memories did I miss because I was so focused on myself that I didn’t really enjoy the moment? I also thought about what if God was replaying my life, and he was showing me all these moments that were meant to be enjoyable. Yet, I was so consumed in myself, in my insecurities, that I missed the laughter, the good times, or simply connecting with others.
So anytime I have any negative thoughts about myself, my skills, my body, my acne, etc., I make sure that I recognize and acknowledge the thought that I’m having, but I don’t have to accept it. That it’s no longer part of me, and it will not take control of my life anymore, the more self-aware you become you will be able to pick up all these negative thoughts, but it’s also super important that you don’t become too self-aware where it’s overtaking your life. It’s a Yingyang thing.
Conclusion: Self-Esteem & Confidence
While your self-esteem can fluctuate from high to low, there are many ways to overcome that period of your life. One of the pros I found to finding out I had low self-esteem is that it kept me humble once I gained it all back, lol. I learned that feeling this way kept me grounded and that while we should be content with who we are and what we have, we can always improve our skills or looks.
